Shall I compare thee to high winters night?
Thou art more icy and grey.
Colder is thine heart, than winters chilled height.
In winter, light doth die away.
In winter forever, under a lunar gaze,
Nimbo Stratus doth hide her shame.
The earth doth shimmer under an icy glaze,
And all life begins to wain.
Thy infernal winter doth not dwindle,
Even in summer doth reveal its face.
If thou was eternal, life woulds't not kindle.
From autumn to spring thy rules't this place.
Life doth wither before thine eyes,
Never revealing thine wicked disguise.
This is good Ozz!!
Can I try and put it to music sometime?
I like your use of middle/archaic english, but it's not perfect. if you plan to use it more, this link [link] would probably help you out.
else, it's not bad at all :9 best of luck in the contest!
What did I miss with the language?
That said, less than half of it is in iambic pentameter. To be a real sonnet, it would all need to be. You might wanna work on that.
I did try to stick to iambic but I couldn't quite get it to read right.
It's like an intellectual "The Day Before Tomorrow..."... or after... I don't know, I never saw it really, but it's about global warming. That's my guess.
Even if I'm wrong, I like it. I like it less, but I still like it. Nevermind that, for me to like it, if I'm wrong, I'll have to know what it's really about to determine whether or not I still like it. Well, that's rude and untrue.
I Do like it and even if I'm wrong I'll STILL like it.
But it'll be devastating.